Oor Wee School…Wis a Rare Wee School!: Classroom Capers from Scottish Schoolchildren

A collection of utterances from the mouths of Scottish schoolchildren over the last 70 years which have been gathered by best-selling author Allan Morrison. These frequently hilarious snippits cover a huge range of frequently hilarious situations and subject areas. This is a typical tale from the book: It was the first day of school for the children of primary one, at a small school in Irvine, in 1936. To settle the excited children down, the young teacher gave each of her new charges a ball of plasticine to play with. Once the children were engrossed in making snakes, little men and women etc, the teacher counted her pupils. Then she counted them again, as she had one too many; thirty-two instead of thirty-one. So she went round each child, ticking off names, until she came to one small boy whose name was not on the register. “You’re not on my list, McGillicuddy.” The wee chap looked blank. “Who did you come to school with this morning?” she demanded. “Ma cousins fae the farm, Miss.” “And what age are you, McGillicuddy?” “Four, Miss.” “Four! You’re too young. You’ve got to be five to be here. Away back to the farm for another year.””But, Miss, noo I’ll only hae the coos tae play wi!”